Friday, May 17, 2013

what about your friends?

What about your friends?

That is the question asked by my girl Missptv from youtube. I love her channel because she has kept it real since I've been following her like 5 almost five years now. Anyhoo, once in a while she gets a message, now whether it comes from God or whatever, she is always on point. She does videos and writes a blog about different areas of life advice; on relationships, friendships, love, family etc. I just always agree with her and she always seems to know how I am feeling at that moment. Her most recent video asked the question above, What about your friends? Which is my most favorite song from TLC, and my fave movie starring Monica Calhoun back in '93. I digress, she stated somethings in the video that I have been saying for years and that is some people are our friends temporarily. I have learned that years ago, it took me a lot of friendships to learn that but I did. Every relationship I have ever had was for a reason, whether temporarily or until this day, it's for a reason. I remember being told as a child that the friends I was cool with were not my real friends. And that statement upset me because how could anyone know who MY real friends were if they weren't in my shoes. But as you get older, things that the older generation used to say to me never registered until I experienced it. She mentioned that people will show you who they are especially when you really pay attention long enough. Some people show you right away while others it may take some serious hurting for you to see who they really are. 

For example I used to be friends with these sisters I worked with for years. We were more than friends we were like sisters, I mean they were always there for me when I really needed them. But I was also there for them as well, listened to them when they needed an ear, let them cry on my shoulder when ever someone hurt them, I mean I was there; or so I thought. One day I had an issue with someone from work who was their friend, basically they chose him over me. Made me feel like what I had done was my fault, which it wasn't it was his, but they made me feel like I deserved what this guy had said about me. I mean in the moment I saw a different side to them I'd never seen before. Then after a few hrs of me crying I started looking back on the other relationships that they had with other people and I just froze. They were mean to lots of people all the time, thought they were better than everybody, talked about everyone behind their backs. I mean I saw this all the time but always thought they'd never do that to me, they'd never treat me the way they treated everybody else. But like I said before people show us who they are in the beginning it's just up to us to realize it. Besides if it weren't for them taking me to church, I honestly don't know where the heck I'd be today. They served a purpose. 

Now I always keep two eyes in the back of my head. That is the only way to survive. This just doesn't apply to same sex relationships but also opposite sex relationships. When I was younger, guys would tell me all the time who they were, showed me who they were; whether it be a liar, cheater, non-commitmenter, all of the above. But did I listen to them, of course not it went through one ear and out the other. In 2009, I went through a situation where I realized I deserved so much more better than what I was being given, so I said a little prayer for God to send me someone to treat me like a Queen. And like a week later I met someone who absolutely did just that. Now we have always been just friends because that's all we are supposed to be, but it is still nice to know I can have a friendship like that. 

Not saying again that I have it all 100% figured out because I do not, but I know the signs right up front. You just have to listen to your gut, and don't accept any BS from any type of relationship. Also know when to cut someone off, or pray about it. 

The end


  1. Well written wise words...
    I don't know why sometimes we just don't want to see people for who they are. I guess learning to let go is also a part of the journey of life. ^_^

    1. Life is such a journey isn't it. But we live and we learn. Thanks for reading!