Thursday, May 17, 2012

Appreciating me

Appreciating who you are. And what you got.



       I am 24 years old and it still takes me some time to just sit and count my many many blessings. I guess in the back of my head I am constantly thinking "okay you don't have a job so how is that a blessing" "You have no money" "You can't really call most people in your life friends because they just are not" "not many things to do", which is such a lie, I mean this is what can keep a person, me, down for a long time. To add more stress to my already not okay situation I have not been able to pay my rent on time which is long story, but soooo getting better. This and so many other things get me down all the time.

       Gives me chest pains and anxiety as well. Last year this time I felt like okay I don't have a job and I am unhappy about it but whatever. Things were not necessarily as bad certain things were just a little bit different, different year but still got problems. But at that time I was thinking back to May 2010 like dang you were complaining then but at least you had a job, you kinda had money to survive minus a few struggles, you were in school. All of the things I never appreciated before are now gone. The things that I never sat down and looked at how great my life was has now disappeared. I was so focused on money, fame, and what ever other conceited thing. I thought that things would just always get better then where I was instead of thinking "hey you have it made more than you think".

        My point is DO NOT let time pass you by, wishing you had more than what you don't have because it doesn't get you anywhere. All the years I spent worrying about everything, wishing I had this persons life, wanting life to go faster. These things hindered me, in my opinion, or blocked my upcoming blessings meant for my future. I used to be so busy trying to fit in with certain people, or trying to be better than someone, or wanting what they had. Instead of just counting these blessings that I have and being thankful for the things I have before it goes away. When people say "it cant possibly get any worse than this" they do, and they will if you don't appreciate them while you got it. I struggle now, today with soooo many things I can't control. Some of them I may be able to someday, but others I need to just let God handle it. Going from being the independent person I used to be for so many years to depending on people to help you is so hard to do. But I am starting to let it go because I am blessed, and there are only many more blessings to come my way. I just gotta stop. Just stop worrying. And be at peace with my situation and my life.

Take Aways
1. Don't block the blessings to come. We all have a purpose on this earth to do what ever it is we were meant to do. By following the path, or trying to follow the path of someone else your blessings won't come to you. This is because we aren't being ourselves. We aren't accomplish our own destiny or making our own lanes. Instead we are trying to mess up someone elses path or follow it to a T. By doing that, and not being true to ourselves we have just blocked our many blessings. I can't tell you how much it pains me to think of how many times I blocked my own blessing because of my ego. Or trying so hard to get what others have by doing what they are doing. It is hard at first but it helps to talk to someone about how you may feel, or pray (if you pray). Or watching videos on Youtube about finding your purpose. Soon I'll do a post on both subjects

2. Counting your blessings daily. Even if you have to write them on your wall and look at them do it. So many things I have not taken the time out to appreciate. I just took advantage and assumed they'd always be there. I'm telling you when you lose a lot of things you notice a lot about yourself, as well as find out about a lot of people.

3. Taking time for yourself to do you helps. Sometimes you have to step away from the social life aspect of things. That means twitter, FB all that stuff. Texting. I'm not saying I went totally off the grid but basically that is what i did. Back in March or April of 2011 I noticed a lot of different things that just no longer meant that much to me. (I mean when you find God a whole of things start changing that are not under your control) I slowed down a lot on the FB and Twitter stuff. Texting people. I just basically stopped talking to a lot of people. Then when I had no internet, no phone, no access at all at first I was upset of course. That was me I thought. How will people talk to me or how will I find out this and that. It was very traumatic believe it or not to feel no longer in the loop. But the first few weeks of doing absolutely everything I had put off for months if not years was so awesome. I could actually think. I mean I still rarely even use the internet for FB and Twitter. Taking that time for myself showed me that I could actually focus without so much noise (not literal noise). So take a day if not an hour daily to relax and meditate with yourself no phones, no laptop, no work, no people. You will feel so refreshed after.

I am so blessed to have this blog to be able to vent my frustrations, as well let people know that they are not alone.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥Thank you all for reading ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


Pynkstarr




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