The same efforts I had put into my skin, my body, and soul I now do to my hair. I wouldn't say I never cared for my hair but that is what I assumed moms or hair salons were supposed to do, take care of my hair. But I know now that is not the case. Just like how I began working on my body in 2004, or my spirituality in 2008, I had to learn to put those efforts into my hair. But I am NOT my hair. Meaning that if today I wanted to dye it I would, if I cut it I would.
It wouldn't matter to me what people had to say or how they felt about it. There was a time when I first BC'd my hair that I just felt uncomfortable, which is super normal. I mean I had very short hair that I thought would never grow back fast enough. My hair was a little puff ball. Which I laugh now but at the time I went through a "why did I do this" stage. I couldn't do anything to it. Nothing seemed to look "presentable" enough to go out in public this way. It took my dad I good few months before he gave me a compliment. This man I was talking to at the time expected long hair when we went on our first date. He told me to wear it like I had a few months prior to the BC. I told him so sir, no can do because my hair is way too short. Explaining why you are natural to a man is hard because most men like girls with long hair. I'm not saying all men, but a lot of men do. I mean eventually through out the date he got the hang of if and said it looked nice. I mean probably not in those words, but you get my drift. Just recently I was chilling with a long time friend, who is a man, he has seen my hair in many stages. He loves my hair styles but mainly loves the longer ones, like weaves and extensions. It doesn't matter to me what people say to me about my hair because it is on my head and I have to deal with it. But somethings people say, esp. friends & family, can just make you shake your head and say "wow". So he says as soon as I got in the car " wow your hair is really curly". I had just undone my twist out. I say thanks and finished our previous conversation. Then he interrupted again "I mean I really like your hair, I'm surprised I like it like that, but I do". So I said "like it like what?". And he goes " you know all natural and stuff, well all my female friends are doing it". I just couldn't believe he said that, but then again like I said before our family and friends will read you in a minute and think nothing of it.
I may have been that way as a child, but as a grown women words like that can get you cut. I would never say to anyone I am close to something like that. I mean the other day I told my little cousin he needed to do something to his hair, but he really does I mean it has lint and fuzz all through it. I told him girls didn't like that, they smile in your face then talk about you behind your back those backstabbers! Anyway, I am learning to put more effort into my hair progression. Monitoring what I use and what I put into my body on a daily bases. I don't care what people have to say or how they feel about it, because I will be this way for the rest of my life. I may have my days but 99.99% of the time I love my hair au naturel. I take my time now with learning about MY hair and how to get it to grow. I think I will call this stage two.
My first stage was learning how to manage my hair in it's natural state. Anything and everything I learned about my hair when I was perming, I had to throw it out the window. So stage one was definitely the learning stage, and teaching my hair and introducing my hair to all new products to see what works and what didn't. I mean I am steal learning how to manage my hair, but I am now learning more about actual growth. Like Ph balance, hydrolyzed protein, cortex. I mean so many things to learn about hair in general, then I can move on to my hair, and textures. Yes plural. I have at least 3 different forms of curl in my hair. Different shapes and lengths. Some C's, some S's, some K's, I mean the whole alphabet is coming out of my scalp nowadays. I mean I embrace it because God is good, but in order for me to meet my goal of butt length hair before 30 (I'll be 26 in Dec) I needs to know how to 1. grow my hair to that length, 2. Maintain my hair at that length. My inspiration was Brandy Norwood's grandma's hair length. I remember being like 7-8 years old watching a Disney special for 3 days straight about the Norwoods, it was a reality show before reality TV was a coined phrase. Her grandmother had salt and pepper hair down her back all the way to her waist. I remember thinking first, she must be mixed (I know how ig'nant of me but ya'll know how it was back then), and secondly wishing I could do that when I am older, but pushed it aside until I went natural. Oh, it can, and it will be done. I will have hair down to my waist when I am in my 70's- 80's. Maybe I'll even blog about it. LOL.