Monday, February 3, 2014

It's a snow day!!!

So yea it's snowing.....again. Which means no class. And nothing to do. LOL. Due to my lack of data, my plan to catch up on new shows is a no go. There are just so many that I enjoy like LAHHNY, Being Mary Jane, Single Ladies....not to mention my fave YT shows such as Roomieloverfriends, That Guy, Brothers with no Game. I mean the list goes on of all the shows I like. Usually on snow days when I have class, I just do work for school to make up for the day off. But today like the last few weeks I have been so unfocused. I haven't been able to concentrate since the beginning of the year for may reasons. This is my pattern in most things in my life. I go through stages....First stage I am sooooo excited for all the possibilities that can happen, this can pertain to jobs, school, life, etc. Second stage my momentum starts to go down, this is usually after doing something for a few weeks. Yes after a few weeks of doing anything I just lose interest. I have no idea why this happens but it's been happening since I was a kid. Third stage is usually the final stage, depending on how long I decide to stick it out. But in this stage I become completely unmotivated with everything. I get so depressed and sad about everything. Then I usually quit. LOL!! Sounds bad?? Well it is horrible. Especially when you don't have $$. But in my 3rd stage I don't think about the consequences completely through as most people will do. I am the kinda person where if it's not working for me I leave. That goes for everything in my life including friendships.

This can't be normal. I mean it's my normal, but it's not normal for anyones life. At 26, you have to learn to stick with things to go through the process. I learned that today! I thought I had everything together by now but I honestly don't. AT ALL! NOT even close! I'm realizing that this is okay. You don't have to be perfect all the time, you don't have to have all the answers all the time, And it's okay if you don't know something. SO my lesson for 2014 is to be more focused on the process, but know that it is a process. Nothing will just happen for for me. I am very thankful for my family and my friends. And very grateful to be in school. Like I've said before I am a book worm, nerd, geek what ever you want to call it. And the computer program course I am taking is still amazing. I just have to not give up this time. Find the motivation from some where and become more focused.

I am definitely going to live my life through God like I have doing for the past few years. And continue on my spiritual journey because I believe that's another reason I have become unfocused. Because I haven't been communicate with God as much as I was before starting school. Which is crazy because it's because of God that I am in school. So I am going to just start trusting the process and do one thing at a time. That's another reason I haven't been focusing on school because I have been trying to focus on 100 other things as well. One thing at a time for me.

I hope you guys enjoyed this post. I am very sorry for not posting regularly, but if you read the above post then you understand why not lol.

Thanks again,
Pynkstarr

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