Monday, May 2, 2011

My 7 Friends

This blog today is something that has been on my heart and mind for a very long time now. I have seen many videos about 'my' friends. Not necessarily the people I know today, nor are they people I socialize with. But they were at one point in my life. So below you will me my 7 friends.

Fair-Weather Friend

Most likely this person is around you only when something great is happening for you. Not to be mistaken for an opportunist. But similar qualities. This person is a vulture for your attention as long as you have something they want. Personally, I have had many of these friends in my life. Especially when people find out that I am smart they really want to get to know me then. I have learned along the way though how to spot this type of friend. Here are my tips:
1. Never let them get to close, this may be hard at first because you think you have a friend but you really don't.
2. Give them the test. Meaning when you get a feeling they are a fair weather friend see how they react when you no longer have popularity or money or status etc. Or in my case I would pretend I didn't know what the heck I was doing in class, then when they'd see the A they would get it and leave me be.
3. This is a bonus for those who don't know how to tap into instinct. Watch how they are towards you when you have something versus when yo have nothing to give. If they leave then they are fair-weather and if they stay maybe your true friends to the end.

Depressed Friend AKA Debbie Downer

This friend is always in disguise, it can even be in your family. No matter how amazing the news is this person will never be happy for you. ME: "Hey I just bought a Toyota" Debbie: "O, did you hear, all the toyotas are blowing up" :O. They talk about death a lot too, and they can never be happy for themselves either. Debbie: "I got a new job" Me: "Congrats Debbie" Debbie: (cry) "They all hate me already I'm gonna quit (more crying). I have friends like this still in my life because there is a limit on what I tell them. You never tell them things you're happy about only neutral things. Like today is a nice day. You make small talk with them. Believe me they will eventually get the point and leave you alone. Now with family you can either stop talking to them or avoid them at the next Christmas party. Because they are family, you can' t just get rid of em :)

The Opportunist Friend

You can meet the opportunist in many forms: at work, school, social events, and at church too. They will be your friend as long as they have the opportunity to get to where you are. Such as Gold Diggers. Or most sports wives. Or rapper's wives. They got lucky and now have the opportunity to be on TV and open up their own businesses. Some may confuse the opportunist with being a good hustler. Big difference to me. The thing about the opportunist is you can never catch them before they move on to the next target. Whether you get them a new job that they get a raise at before you do or get them to join a club at school that used to be your thing until they joined and took all your friends. Before you realize it they will move on, because they get a thrill of having what you have. May never admit to being jealous of you, but deep down inside they really are. Of you, and all the other people they will use.

The Self-Absorbed Friend

This friend is the one that makes everything about them. They say hey lets throw a party for your new promotion and then take over the party. The next day people are saying your friend's party last night was awesome. You're stuck thinking hey it was my party not theirs. This friend is always happy for you, kinda. They show happiness to you when you are out, but deep down inside they aren't listening to a word you are saying. You call them to say hi, they go on for 3hrs complaining about the friend who stole their lunch at work. But then when it is your turn to discuss a parking ticket they either have to go or they cut you off and start talking about someone else. To the self-absorbed friend you are nothing to them but their assistant. You have to hold their bag at the club. You get to watch them go to allll their fave stores at the mall but when you want to go to your fave they are usually too tired. And since you have no bags you have to help hold theirs. PERSONAL ASSISTANT sry.

'One upper' Friend/Competitor Friend

This friend is competing all the time with you. If you get a new car, they get a new car. You buy a house, guess who bought a new house. You shop at wholefood, they also gotta shop at a newer even better wholefood. Everything with them is a competition even when there is NO competition. Although not avoidable, you should delete this kind of friend immediately. They will never just be a friend and be happy for your success. They will show happy, but in the back of their mind they are planning a way to be better. I have been this friend at one point in my life. At times I still find myself trying to be better than a person. Now I realize that a person's blessing is THEIR blessing. Who are you to ruin they're thunder. They may change but deep inside they will always try and one up you.

The Gossiper/ Telling all your business ALL the time friend

This friend tells all your business all the time and try and justify it by saying they didn't know they weren't supposed to say anything. I love my mom and dad to death but they do this to me a lot. They don't tell everything. But they say things to people that just makes me go what. I don't want people knowing what kinda work I do or what job I have. What school I go to. Where I shop. Stuff like that is personal and private. The gossiper friend takes the info you say and add to it most the time. They make it a bigger situation then it actually is. You say there was a shooting in the park because you heard about it through a friend. They turn it in to you saying you were there and saw the shooter. Next thing you know everyone thinks you saw something you didn't. They tell all your business all the time. Personal or not. They can't hold water. So my advice is if they did it once they will do it again. DO NOT tell them anything.

The Parental Friend AKA The know it all

They want to be your parent more than they want to be yo
ur friend. They tell you advice when you never ask and really want you to listen to them all the time. They get highly offended when you don't listen. Usually these friends are older then you by a few years. They think they know everything because they feel like they have been through everything. This friend will never be there for you really. Their advice means well but they only want to rule your life and tell you what to do.

Well I hope this advice has helped. There were wayyyy to many friends to choose from but these few are easiest to spot. If you have your own, add some in the comments.
Thank you all so much for reading!!
Stay Blessed

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